Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
