fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
