my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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