I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
