Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
