you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
