hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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