so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
