would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize