My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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