Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
