There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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