Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
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I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
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Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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