thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I need a burrito and a hug.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
