Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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