we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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