Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Life is so much better after having sex.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Randomize
