is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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