Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
she told me i tasted like america
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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