All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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