I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
