I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize