yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
