But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
