We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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