i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
