Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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