So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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