Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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