Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize