I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
