oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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