wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Can vaginas get frostbite?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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