You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
