Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize