You work out of a Hotel?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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