yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
