Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
God, I missed his penis.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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