white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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