Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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