Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
