Porn is love you can see.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
