Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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