sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
