and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
