oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
