i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
he fucked my hip out of place.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
