I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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