): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
