I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
