i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize