Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
