Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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