I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
