1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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