While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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