The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he puts the penis in happiness.
worst night to have a conscience
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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