i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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