i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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