his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
