thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
pray to the hookup gods
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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