How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
