I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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