he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
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peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
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He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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