Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
