Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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