worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
this just has baby written all over it
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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