Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
