He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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